To Emmanuel

Emmanuel died on Friday, 30th October, 2015 when he lost control of his car and crashed into a tree while driving back home to his parents in England. He was a rather far-flung cousin of mine and I met him only once a few years back during a holiday in Kerala. But, I remember him being open and a conversationalist like his mother. He will remain 24 forever now. His mother’s sense of humor and laughter was as profound as her physical stature. Since the police showed up on that night to deliver the news, she hasn’t spoken a word. It appears he took all of her words with him as well.

It is not so much his passing but the suddeness of it all, his loud laughter and English tainted Malayalam resounding in the background. It’s almost cruel, how a person has just disappeared, no longer to be. How were you like, Emmanuel? Were you in love? Or crushing on someone? Did you prefer reading books, dunking some b-balls or swiping right on tinder? Maybe we would have met again on one of those holiday trips or at yours or my wedding, maybe you would have taken me to your favorite watering hole as your wingman. Why did you get distracted when you did, why did you not brake harder or swerve away from the tree? Why did you not leave a little later or just choose to spend the weekend downing shots with your mates?

We’ll never know you the way we would have known you, had you hung around for the rest of our miserable lives. I understand you had to go, but 24 was way too early Emmanuel, too damn early.


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