I Wonder…

I wonder.

I wonder where the big white planes go when they go roaring above. I have a small one. But it cannot fly. It used to make sounds and flash light but it doesn’t do that anymore either.

I Wonder…

“It’s run out of batteries, kutta”, my mom says.

I don’t understand.

She takes out two metal things from the back and shows me with a shrug.

I really don’t understand. Why can’t she just fill up what’s finished?

Oh… you should see her skin.

I wish my skin was like hers. Mine looks like the grounds outside when we don’t have rains on the hot days. Then my skin gets very itchy and I keep scratching it, like now, though if my Ma saw me, she would start yelling.

She always starts crying when I ask her why my skin keeps falling off and hers doesn’t. Hers is always so soft.

She tells me I am different.

“Kutta, look at that caterpillar”, she said once pointing at a little green worm crawling on the floor of our house.

“You are like him.”

“I am like a worm?”

“”Its a special worm.”

“Why?”

“It can grow wings.”

“Really?”

How can a worm grow wings!?

“Yes. One day, it will shed its skin and out will come a beautiful little butterfly.”

“Like the one that sat on my hand that day when Raghu pushed me?”

“Yes, just like that one.” Her eyes started crying again. My mother cries a lot.

So, I will become a butterfly.

I saw a butterfly once at our school. It came and sat on my hand but that bully, Raghu pushed me and it flew away.

“You are so ugly, you big headed monster!”

All the children laughed at me.

I wonder where the butterfly went away.

It was the only thing not afraid of touching me. Everyone else was, because of my skin.

No one likes me much.

I think it is because of my head. It is bigger than theirs and my skin falls of.

MA says all different people had problems at school and that it all got better when they got older.

So, when I am older I will shed my skin too. I shall grow wings and become a beautiful butterfly. I will be able to fly and then everyone will like me.

But, I wonder how long I must wait though.

I wonder.

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